What I must NOT do to Galinda
by theaterinspired
Summary: Elphaba's diary entry of what she has learned is a bad idea to do to Galinda. Occurs throught the story. Entries are from whenever Elphie gets frustrated at Galinda. I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS! ONE SHOT


ONE SHOT! I will keep adding to this chapter!

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Things I must NOT do to torment Galinda:

1. I will not call her Glinda

2. I will not take all of her pink items and die them brown

3. or black

4. or orange

5. or tie-dye

6. I will not take all of her pink items and die them any color what so ever

7. I am not allowed to touch any of her pink items unless invited to do so

8. I will not throw all of her hair care products out the window

9. I will not die her hair bubble gum pink

10. Even if I think it looks great on her

11. I will not use her hair ribbons as a rope to tie her up with

12. I will not use her scarves either

13. I will not tie her up, no matter how much she deserves it

14. I will not use her makeup as art supplies

15. I will not use her shoes to make the worlds largest shoe sculpture

16. I will not throw her white gown in with her reds: even though it will make it pink

17. I wont use her curling iron to curl all of the drapes in the room; the iron wont like it, and the drapes cant take it

18. I wont use her lip stick and write, "Dumb Blond" on all the mirrors

19. I will not use her hand held mirror to reflect light to make toast

20. Even if I give said toast to her

21. I wont use her makeup to draw on her face when she is asleep

22. I am not allowed to point out her snoring problem in public, its not proper

23. I am not allowed to put all of her belongings on the roof.

24. I am not to ask her if she would like extra sarcasm on the side of that snobbiness

25. I am not to take her party gown and use it as a flag

26. I am not to use said flag and wave it around like seen in a well known musical

27. I am not to touch the book she is writing about being be popular

28. I am not allowed to sit in her room singing "Its not easy being green"

29. I will not tell her that there is a place called Kansas where everything is black and white

30. I will not turn her pink bubble green

31. I will not touch her bubble

32. I am to understand that it is her bubble and I am to find my own stupid way to travel

33. I will not sing at the top of my lungs "Ding dong, Galinda's dead!"

34. I will not tell Galinda that there is a shoe store at the end of the yellow brick road.

35. She might like bubble gum, but she dosnt wish to have it in her hair

36. Even if it is bubble gum pink

37. I wont start a musical talking about how misunderstood I am

38. I wont send my flying monkies after her, I should call instead

39. I will not tamper with her grades in Dr. Dillamond's class

40. I wont make my black hat haunt her every waking moment

41. or at all for that matter

42. When she says that she will through my hat out the window, she isnt kidding

43. I cannot then go and dump her shoes out of a higher window into a pit of mud

44. or a lake

45. I will not send fake love letters to her from Fyeiro

46. I will not tell Boq that Galinda would like to take him out to dinner

47. I wont underestimate the power of her hairbrush, it can bite

48. I cannot ride a bike throuh a wind storm and laugh at it..... it creeps people out

49. I will not wear a blond wig and color Galinda green using makeup. I will not then dress like her and claim to be her for the rest of the day

50. I will not cast a spell that will make her write on her test, "Dumb Blond"

51. Even if Dr. Dillamond dosnt notice

52. I wont steal all of her dresses and hide them

53. Espically if she is running late for class, and I leave to go to my class. she dosnt like my clothes

54. I wont write a letter from Galinda to the Wizard explaining how stupid they both are

55. I wont tell Madme Morbille that Galinda said she is a mean person

56. I wont claim that Galinda ate my homework

57. I am not to write "You know you're Galinda when..." jokes

58. I am not to ask her if she is related to a doll called Barbie

57. I am not to tell Fiyero that Galinda has anger management issues.

58. I am not going to support the action above by then ticking her off

59. I am not supposed to lock her in a closet

60. I am not to hide the hair accessories

61. I am not to turn the power off while she is blow drying her hair

62. A fast ride on a broom stick dosnt replace the hair dryer.

63. Durring a cat fight, it is not propper to drop a house on Galinda and tell her to see how comfy Nessa is now

64. durring the fight, i cannot yell at her to try and use the force

65. As I fly arround on my broom, I cannot drop paint bombs on top of her

66. I shouldnt make a cover of a book look like the Grimmerie, and then give the copy to Galinda

67. I cannot have this book contain fake spells that will then blow up in her face

68. On her birthday, she doesnt like exploding cakes

69. As a matter of fact, from now on I am only to send her money so she can buy her own gift (Its a long story, dont ask)

70. When told to get my own way to travel, a twister isnt what she meant

71. I am not to yell at Galinda "Stop parking your house on my sister!"

72. I am not to say to Dr. Dillamond, "The something bad in Oz is Galinda"

73. I am not to tell Madame Morbille or the Wizard that the munchkins are plotting their downfall

74. Galinda isnt either

75. It is inadvisable to yell "Galinda did it" when the Wizard asks who set the mokeys free

76. I am not to trick her into a marker fight, and then I take out a Sharpee while she takes out a washable one

77. If I am in trouble, I cannot blame it on Galinda

78. I am, sadly, not allowed to steal her Fan mail and hide it

79. I cannot take the Fan mail and replace it with Hate mail

80. I am not to touch fan mail at any time

81. I am not to play a game of "pin the "stupid" sign on galinda"

82. I am not allowed to say "You're so fake, Barbie's jelous"

84. I am not allowed to appear in puffs of smoke anymore

85. It makes Galinda cough

86. No matter how much I want her to suffocate

87. I will not say "Bother!Bother!Bother!" and bump into her repeatedly.

88. I am not to put red food coloring in Gallinda's shampoo

89. I am not to put green food coloring in her lotion

90. Edward Elric is not the illegitamate love child of Galinda and a munchkin

91. I will not set her up on a blind date with a Ring of the Goths.

92. I will not set her up on a blind date with Boq

93. I will not set her up on a blind date with a flying monkey

94. I am to stop setting her up on blind dates

95. I will not sing "'Cuse I'm a Blond" arround Gallinda... she probably wouldnt get it

96. I will not shave her head in the middle of the night

97. I will not give her a bouqet if poppies for her birthday

98. I will not tell her that Fiyero allready has a girlfriend

99. I wont change all of her stuff from the frilly pink to goth

100. I will not put a charm on Galinda that makes her do whatever I want, including the chicken dance in public.

101. I will not tell her that I know someone that is more powerful than she is..... or ever could be.... even if I dont mean me

102.I will not show her a store called Hot Topic, even if it is worth the Visa comercial

103. I will not challenge her to a Wizard's Duel

104. I will not claim her a witch and then declare that we must burn her

105. Water, sadly, will not make her melt

106. She just dosnt like water so I should stop throwing it on her

107. Wet isnt a hairdo...its a dont

108. I will not lock her out of the bathroom

109. I wont then tell her that I am throwing away her makeup

110. I cannot then actually do it

111. I then cant set the makeup in fire

112. and then dump the ashes into a lake

113. I will not say that she weighs the same as a duck

114. I will not send her a Ken doll on her birthday with a note saying "Just imagine he is Fiyero".

115. The note cannot say "You two are perfect for each other, seeing as how you are both fake"

116. I will not insist that she goes to a magical land called TawniTown

117. Even if she would love it so much that she would never come back

118. I cannot take her to a magical place and introduce her to my "bff" Abby from NCIS

119. I will not play the "Barbie Girl Song"

120. I will not make a video of her dancing to said song and post it on the internet

121. I will not tie her to a chair and force her to watch Barney.... even if she enjoys it

123. I wont offer to paint her nails

124. I wont then tell her that I painted them with a certain color that can only be seen by "smart people" especially if i never painted them anything.

124. I will not skip a number and then ask her to find it for me on this list

126. I shouldnt repeat numbers on this list either.

128. Her glare wont actually kill, and I should stop blaming the death of our class pet cat on her.

130. You shouldnt try to interupt her repeatidly just to annoy her

129. I shouldnt mix up the numbers either

131. I shouldnt try and throw that stupid lipstick at her

132. I shouldnt try and argue that brooms are better than bubbles

133. I shouldnt attempt to pop her bubble when she is in it

134. I shouldnt attempt it at all actually

135. If I want to tell her something I must be straight forward; otherwise she wont understand

136. When ever I have a sarcastic coment I shouldnt wait for applause

137. I shouldnt tell her to wait for applause as well

138. I shouldnt tell her anything that is meant to be private, she gossips at times

139. To the issue of my own way to travel on number 32; I cannot take my broom inside the bubble and yell HA!

140. I am not to tell her that if she was very careful she could discover that there are people watching us like we are on some kind of show


End file.
